AOL: ATTACK ON LOSERS
by TurquoiseShine
Summary: Join Jean, Armin and Connie in their misadventures as they attempt to lose their virginities before high school graduation. High School AU. Pairings inside. Rated M for adult humor.


Plot: Join Jean, Armin and Connie in their misadventures as they attempt to lose their virginities before high school graduation.

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><p><em>Almost done<em>, I thought. My finger stopped tracing as I finished the final touches of my 'masterpiece'. And by masterpiece I mean another nude sketch of my long time crush Mikasa. I sighed. _God she looks so beautiful_. I don't even care that she has a boyfriend. Well, the guy is a complete asshole and doesn't deserve her at all. His name is Eren and he's in my class which is the worst part. I held up the drawing in question, gazing at it longingly. I have to say I'm impressed. I think I even overdid the details a bit. Her hair and her eyes were shaded in black while her skin looked white as porcelain. Her breasts were huge and her nipples reminded me of cherries… Wait what?

I shook my head. That sounded pretty gay. Not that I've seen her tits before but damn… I sure wish I did. She is the most beautiful girl I ever laid my eyes on, as pathetic and gay as it sounds.

"Jean-bo!" My mom called out from downstairs. _Shit…better put this away before she founds out…_

"Dinner's ready!" She said. I could hear her going up the stairs. I started panicking. "Sweety?" She opened the door.

Out of instinct I hid the drawing beneath the bed sheets. I looked up at her. "Yes ma?"

"Honey were you jacking off again?" She asked.

My eyes widened. "What?! No mom! I was just doing homework! See?" I said, while holding up my binder for emphasis. That was actually my binder full of nude Mikasa sketches but hey, I didn't know what else to use.

"Okay sweety! I just wanted to let you know that dinner was ready so you could come down to eat. And it's your favorite this time!" She said while smiling.

I vigorously nodded. "Yes ma! I'll be down in a minute!" I hoped she would go away after that, since I just realized I had popped an erection.

She cocked her head at me. "Sweety are you hiding something?"

Well shit.

I shook my head again. "No ma!" I quickly placed the binder on my crotch, hoping it would conceal my boner.

Her eyes narrowed. "You sure honey?"

"Mm-hm." I nodded. _Please…just go away!_

She still looked unsure. "Well…if you say so honey." She closed the door and walked down the stairs. "Don't take too long!" She yelled.

"Yes ma!" I yelled back.

I breathed out a sigh and took out the sketch I had been hiding. I gazed at it again for a while before saving it inside my binder, along with a hundred more sketches of Mikasa naked, each in different sexual positions, some were of her wearing skimpy clothes, some of them were of her sucking dicks while the remaining few were just sketches of her pretty face… with cum on it.

_God I'm such a sick bastard,_ I thought as I lied down face up on my bed and stared at the ceiling.

"I definitely need to get laid."

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><p><strong>AOL: ATTACK ON LOSERS<strong>

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><p>"Hey Jean!"<p>

I looked up, only to meet Armin's usual happy-go-lucky face. Armin and I are best friends since middle school. He is usually a nice guy but almost, _always_ gets picked on by the bigger dudes at my school. And that's when Connie and I step in the picture. We defend his weak ass and beat the shit out of any fucktard who dares pick on Armin again. Thankfully, he hasn't been bullied again and he got a lot cheerful since then. It can get pretty annoying but I got used to his personality after a while. Plus the kid is smart as fuck and he usually helps me with math and chemistry. So it's a win-win for me.

"Sup."

Oh yeah... I forgot to mention he looks like He-Man a lot and that was one of the reasons why he got picked on.

Armin just smiled his usual smile and sat down beside me. "You seem happier than usual." I grumbled.

At that Armin looked down at his lap and blushed scarlet. "Yeah… I finally talked to Annie today."

"Really?" I raised an eyebrow. Armin has the biggest crush on Annie and he's never gotten the balls to talk to her, since she seems like a cold bitch most of the time, so I was honestly surprised to hear that coming from him.

He scratched the back of his neck and grinned sheepishly. "Yeah…but I just asked her what homework was due tomorrow. That's it."

I scoffed. "You pussied out."

He frowned. "I did not!"

"Yes you did you fucking pussy. And let me tell you something. You will regret this later on when our last year is up and you still remain a virgin. And the only way that can be changed is if you do something."

He remained silent for a few seconds, processing my words. Then he smirked. "You say that but you haven't made a move on Mikasa either, Jean. So that makes you a pussy as well."

I could feel my cheeks heating up so I gritted my teeth in frustration. _Fucking smart ass_.

"Yo! Yo! Yo! What is up my niggas?" I turned around to look at Connie waving at us from the distance.

He jogged towards us and sat down beside Armin. "Guys you won't believe what I just saw today!" He said, while grinning like a mad man.

Armin smiled at him. "Do tell us Connie."

"Okay. I followed Sasha down the hallway until she went inside the girl's locker room so I thought hey why not take a look inside right?" Armin nodded, prompting him to continue.

"So I went inside to peek at her undressing all while hiding behind one of the lockers and I found out she wasn't wearing a bra!"

My eyes widened. "Dude…"

Connie just continued to grin. "I saw her tits man! She has like the perkiest tits I've ever seen in a girl! Way better than porn actually."

"Did you get caught?" Armin asked.

"Almost! I had to get out eventually. But I managed to take a picture of her tits! You guys wanna see?" Before we even got to respond he had already whipped out his cell phone.

Unfortunately, Levi and his stupid posse decided to show up with the intention to fuck up our evening. Because seeing us minding our own business wasn't good enough for him.

"You shitheads better not come to my party. Y'all are not invited." He deadpanned.

I scoffed. "Like we wanted to go in the first place."

Levi raised an eyebrow. "What did you say, shithead?" He asked while closing in on me. "You wanna fight?"

I stood up and looked down on him, thankful for our height difference. The guy was an asshole with a Napoleon complex.

I opened my mouth, ready to retort when…

"Levi. Please." A familiar voice said. I blushed. I knew who that voice belonged to.

He gave her a side-glare. "Not now Mikasa."

"Can't you just leave them alone?" She bluntly said.

That was when he turned around to face her. "I was just letting them know not to come to my party tonight, knowing they have a habit of crashing parties while uninvited."

"Well that is up to them not you." She countered.

At that precise moment her douchebag of a boyfriend showed up. God what day is today? Asshole day?

"Mikasa I texted you all day and you didn't return a single text! May I ask what is going on?" The aforementioned douchebag, Eren, said. He straight up glared at her. "Are you seeing someone?"

She sighed, leaving Levi completely forgotten. He and his posse had already left a moment ago. "No Eren. Sorry about that. I was busy." She said, all while looking bored at the same time.

His angry expression didn't falter. "Mikasa, how many times do I have to tell you that when I text you, you fucking answer back!"

"I know."

Connie, Armin and I continued to stare at the couple, unsure of what to say or do. I simply glared at Eren, angry at the fact that Mikasa is dating an egotistical asshole like him. How dare he accuse her like that!

"Hey Eren…why don't you cut her some slack?" I spoke up.

That was when he stopped glaring at Mikasa and instead glared at me. I glared back.

"Who the fuck are you?" He closed in on me until Mikasa intercepted him.

"Gentlemen please." She laid a hand on his chest, effectively stopping him. "Eren I'll talk to you in a bit okay?" She pecked him on the cheek.

Eren seemed to have forgotten the reason why he was mad as he had simmered down a bit. "Okay. Love you." He pecked her back. "I'll see you." He said as he walked away.

I felt envious of him right away. Oh how I wish I was the one to kiss her.

Mikasa turned around to face us, her expression looking a bit sheepish. "Sorry about that."

Armin merely smiled at her. "It's fine."

"No really. I feel horrible. It's bad enough that I have to deal with these two assholes everyday but for them to say these mean things to you guys…"

Connie waved off her comment. "Hey it's okay! We're cool."

"Really? Oh that's good." She closed her eyes for a moment. "Anyways please ignore what Levi said back there. I want you guys to come to my party so I hope whatever he said didn't stop you guys in the first place."

I gazed at her in awe. "Seriously?"

She opened her eyes and looked at me. "Yeah." That was probably the first time she made eye contact with me, no joke. "And also I wanted to ask you a favor." She bit her lip. _So hot…_

"What is it?" I asked, urging her to continue.

"It's just that my parents will be gone this weekend and they're going to leave me with lots of cash for food but there is already enough food in the house so I want to spend it on booze. But I don't know how to get it and…I was wondering if I could leave you guys with this task."

"No problem! We'll do it!" Connie and I said in unison while Armin remained pensive.

"Really? Oh thank you so much guys." She smiled.

"Yeah it's no problem. And I would love to buy you booze. Um… I mean buy booze…for the party…" I stammered. I mentally cursed. _Be cool Jean! Be cool!_

"Great. So um…I'll see you tonight?"

I blushed. "Y-Yeah."

Mikasa smiled in response and left. Once she was gone, Armin laid a hand on my shoulder.

"If I'm not mistaken, I think she just asked you out."

I frowned at him. "But she has a boyfriend."

"So? The guy's a dick." Connie pointed out.

"Yeah…he doesn't seem right for her." Armin said.

"I agree. But we gotta figure out how to get that booze."

"I know. It's going to be tricky, but if we think out a plan beforehand then we'll manage to pull it off."

Connie smirked. "I hear you man."

"Right. After school we'll meet up around here so we can discuss this in detail."

I nodded. At that moment the school bell rang, meaning recess was over.

Armin stood up. "I'll see you guys later!" And with that he took off running towards the school building.

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><p><strong>To be continued<strong>

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><p><strong>AN: Here's when you review. Please be nice 'cause this is my first AOT story ^_^ Yes there will be **_**Jeankasa**_** in this. Yes there will be **_**AruAni**_** in this. And yes, there will be **_**Springles**_** (Connie/Sasha) in this. Oh and yes this story was inspired by the movie Superbad. But not based off completely ofc. Also, like every M rated fanfic there will be the eventual lemon…But that will happen in later chapters. **

**I will continue this prompt if you guys like it. I'm just another review-whore so yeah…please review and let me know what you think about this idea :3 I do apologize for any grammar/punctuation errors… it has been a very long time tbh. I hope it wasn't a big deal.**

**Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed reading this just as much as I enjoyed writing this! :D**

**-Andy**


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